If you’ve ever heard the saying, stuck in a rut, that’s exactly how I have been feeling. And if you’ve ever felt stuck in a rut, then you know the feeling. It’s not the greatest feeling in the world. I have never heard someone say, “I’m stuck in a rut and its great!” That would just be weird, wouldn’t it? I must confess something, I have been stuck in a rut. I haven’t been in God’s word, I haven’t been having my usually chats with God, and I haven’t been going to church regularly. My time with God seemed more like a to-do list. That seemed to be a place I have been before. When I was younger, I thought the farther you got in your Bible reading guide, the more God would like you. Don’t get me wrong, using Bible reading guides is a great way to get into God’s word and hear from Him, but I was using it more as a to-do list instead of getting into God’s word. And I was missing something, God already loved me so checking things off my list wasn’t going to increase God’s love for me.
So how did I let myself get into such a pickle? I was searching for a church and I was feeling discouraged and lost. I had been looking for a church that had more young people and I hadn’t seem to find one that God would have for me. I just stopped going to church. I felt like I was wondering in a desert for awhile because I felt far away from God and far way from His community of believers. After 6 months, I went back to a church that I use to go to. I felt weird because I hadn’t gone there for a while; I didn’t want people to think bad of me. Praise God, I was welcomed back and I felt God’s love wrap around me. I was talking to a sweet lady from my church. She is wise beyond her years and she spoke truth into my life this past week. I told her how discouraged I was and how I hadn’t even been writing on my blog. I told her I had no inspiration anymore. She reminded me that God has given me the gift of writing and when I was far away from Him and His word, the inspiration He had given me wasn’t there. *ding ding ding, we have a winner….when I was walking closer with the Lord, He gave me the inspiration to write. When I wasn’t close to Him, my inspiration was gone. I should have figured this out a lot sooner…wake up, girl!
Sunday morning, I felt led to go up during the invitation and get right with God. I still feel like I have one foot left in my rut, but I am definitely ready to get out. So why would I put such a ridiculous title on this post? Because as much as its really uncomfortable and sometimes miserable to be stuck in rut, its great because it reminded me of how much I need God in my life. Everything in my life was going haywire because I wasn’t right with God. I need to be walking hand in hand with my Savior or else things are going to be out of control. I was meant to have a growing, thriving relationship with my heavenly Father. I am slowly learning. If only I didn’t have such a thick skull, then maybe it wouldn’t take me so long haha
We are all imperfect people who are adored by a perfect, loving Heavenly Father. Its okay to be real and honest with each other. That’s what I learned that Sunday.