Life is messy. My life is messy and your life is messy. It amazes me to know that God loves us even when things are messy and chaotic in our lives. We don’t have to be ashamed of our mess. We can bring our mess to Him and He begins to make something beautiful of out it.
Part of my mess is thinking I have my life under control and all planned out. I like to think that I have all the answers and that I have each detail in place. What a huge lie! I don’t have anything under control. Even my hair is out-of-control (I can’t help it, its so humid in South Dakota right now). The world tells us to be independent. We learn from the media that we should grow up to be strong independent women. Well, sorry to break it to your folks, we aren’t meant to be independent. We are meant to rely and depend on Christ.
The past few weeks, I feel like God is trying to get something into this thick skull of mind. He’s telling me it is time to lean on Him. It’s time to let go of my hopes, my dreams, my fears, my ideas and take on His plans, His strength, His wisdom. When I stop asking God for help and when I don’t let Him into every part of my day, things go haywire. I speak from experience because things have been going haywire in my life. Why I am so stubborn? Why do I try to do everything on my own? The strong, independent woman doesn’t exist. But, you know what does exist. A strong women who depends on Christ for strength, guidance, peace…..and the list goes on. God has good things for us if we would just let Him work.
It’s okay to be weak and its okay to struggle. In fact, being weak is kinda cool because guess what happens? Christ’s power is able to shine through.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
My anxious heart tries to take control and take me places I hate to go and places I don’t need to go. I need to rely on Christ. Plain and simple–I need to stop trying to do everything on my own. I am reminded of one of my favorite Tenth Avenue North songs. When I hear, “Let it Go,” I start to imagine God tell me, “Just let it go, Sarah. Why don’t you lean on me for once? You don’t have to do it alone. I love you and I have great things in store for you. Just take my hand.”
This part of the song really reminds me of myself, and I bet you can relate.
I’ve been holding on so tight
Look at these knuckles they’ve gone white
From fighting for who I want to be
I’m just trying to find security
I don’t think it will ever be easy to admit that I am a screw-up in need of help. None of us want to admit that, but if we don’t, we will never find true peace. This week I’ve had multiple incidents when I just had to let Go and ask God for help. I can’t do it on my own, and don’t have to do it on my own. I was meant to be a dependent woman (wait that sound weird because that is so contrary to what the world says). I was meant to depend on Christ every second of every day.
And now the journey continues. The prayer of my heart is that I learn to fully rely on Christ. So long Miss Independent. I wasn’t suppose to be you anyways.