Sarah Hamze

If you’ve ever heard the saying, stuck in a rut, that’s exactly how I have been feeling.  And if you’ve ever felt stuck in a rut, then you know the feeling.  It’s not the greatest feeling in the world.  I have never heard someone say, “I’m stuck in a rut and its great!”  That would just be weird, wouldn’t it?   I must confess something, I have been stuck in a rut.  I haven’t been in God’s word, I haven’t been having my usually chats with God, and I haven’t been going to church regularly.  My time with God seemed more like a to-do list.  That seemed to be a place I have been before.  When I was younger, I thought the farther you got in your Bible reading guide, the more God would like you.  Don’t get me wrong, using Bible reading guides is a great way to get into God’s word and hear from Him, but I was using it more as a to-do list instead of getting into God’s word.  And I was missing something, God already loved me so checking things off my list wasn’t going to increase God’s love for me.

So how did I let myself get into such a pickle?  I was searching for a church and I was feeling discouraged and lost.  I had been looking for a church that had more young people and I hadn’t seem to find one that God would have for me.  I just stopped going to church.  I felt like I was wondering in a desert for awhile because I felt far away from God and far way from His community of believers.  After 6 months, I went back to a church that I use to go to.  I felt weird because I hadn’t gone there for a while; I didn’t want people to think bad of me.  Praise God, I was welcomed back and I felt God’s love wrap around me.   I was talking to a sweet lady from my church.  She is wise beyond her years and she spoke truth into my life this past week.  I told her how discouraged I was and how I hadn’t even been writing on my blog.  I told her I had no inspiration anymore.  She reminded me that God has given me the gift of writing and when I was far away from Him and His word, the inspiration He had given me wasn’t there.  *ding ding ding, we have a winner….when I was walking closer with the Lord, He gave me the inspiration to write.  When I wasn’t close to Him, my inspiration was gone.  I should have figured this out a lot sooner…wake up, girl!

Sunday morning, I felt led to go up during the invitation and get right with God.  I still feel like I have one foot left in my rut, but I am definitely ready to get out.  So why would I put such a ridiculous title on this post?  Because as much as its really uncomfortable and sometimes miserable to be stuck in rut, its great because it reminded me of how much I need God in my life.  Everything in my life was going haywire because I wasn’t right with God.  I need to be walking hand in hand with my Savior or else things are going to be out of control. I was meant to have a growing, thriving relationship with my heavenly Father.  I am slowly learning.  If only I didn’t have such a thick skull, then maybe it wouldn’t take me so long haha

We are all imperfect people who are adored by a perfect, loving Heavenly Father.  Its okay to be real and honest with each other.  That’s what I learned that Sunday.